I find Valentine’s Day stressful with food allergies.  In the past, when our allergic child was in elementary school, I found it to be the most stressful day of all.  It all came to a head when Megan was in grade 4 and Valentine’s Day became a food buffet of everything she couldn’t eat laid out in front of her.  Score in her head?  Other kids:  30 treats,  Me:  2 Read more »

I mentioned in an earlier post that we were finally hitting the time when our allergic  child was scheduled to begin the Foods portion of her grade seven rotation and we had not yet decided whether that was going to be a viable option for our child.

These  new situations as allergic children grow up bring back all of that anxiety of just how much we can trust someone else with the life of our child and, now that she’s 12, the emotional and social aspects of dealing with a life threatening food allergy in school.

Thankfully, we’ve always had great support at school from school administration, staff, and other families and students with very little controversy.  Unfortunately, that doesn’t stop me from having sleepless nights imagining what might happen.  These are anxieties my husband and I try very hard not to pass along to our child but even hiding those often unfounded fears from her can be stressful itself.

Our meeting went very well and included the principal, the home ec teacher and our child.  A great bonus was that the home ec. teacher has a grown up daughter who has severe lactose intolerance which does not respond to lactaid pills so she’s known a lifetime of avoidance of dairy.  Life is always so much easier as an allergic parent when who you’re talking to has walked in your shoes, even slightly.

So we’re going ahead!  A stove will be set aside for my child, I’ll be sending in utensils and baking equipment which will be kept in a sealed bin we provide and washed only by my child and her baking partner.  In addition,  my child’s baking partner has a brother with peanut allergy so this will allow that child to bring home safe class projects to share with her family.  The teacher will be providing me with all of the term’s recipes and I’ve offered to purchase the items we’ve deemed as unsafe due to bulk purchase and/or possible cross-contamination.

I’m thrilled and my child feels comfortable. Whatever extras we may need to do to make this work is nothing compared to the freedom of being (generally) like the other kids.  As Mastercard says, that’s priceless.

At the beginning of the year, I met with my allergic daughter’s principal and the home ec. teacher to discuss how my daughter could take part in the Foods portion of home ec.  We ended up putting off the final details since her rotation for foods wasn’t happening until spring.

Now we’re scrambling because she is scheduled to start home ec. classes shortly so principal, teacher, parents and child are meeting next week.  I am torn with what to do.  My liberal side wants to have my child be able to partake in the classes and feels that special needs can and should be accommodated.  My conservative side says not to.  My child wants to participate but isn’t sure that she’ll feel safe enough to eat the food that she creates due to the potential of cross contamination from other classes in there.  I don’t know if we’ll be able to overcome the cross contamination or comfort issues.

I know that if she participates but then doesn’t feel comfortable eating the food, she’ll hold it together at school but will completely fall apart at home due to the unfairness of watching everybody else eat their delicious creations; and rightly so.  Her art teacher said he’d love to have her back in art during the food portion (she’d then do sewing with the rest of the class) and she is happy to know that she’s got an alternative she loves.

So… do we  work hard to make the entire room allergy friendly and she feels safe OR do we work hard to make the entire room allergy friendly and she’s still not comfortable?  Does she eat the food or doesn’t she?  Does she do the food portion at all?

A friend once told me that parenting doesn’t get easier as children grow up, it’s just different and she was right.  I no longer have to worry about my daughter putting something in her mouth like I did when she was an allergic toddler but now the emotional and social ramifications of segregating are a much bigger part of the picture.