I’m not sure what to think about a recent clip that I viewed on YouTube showing a young man having an allergic reaction to peanut.  I had just come home from holidays and had several enewsletters waiting for me as I subscribe to many from the allergy and gluten free worlds.  One particular enewsletter had a link to a clip showing a peanut reaction.  I thought it might be informative for both my husband and my allergic child and so forwarded the enewsletter to my home address for viewing later that night.

When I got home, I discovered that my husband had already watched the clip and that my allergic child had refused to watch so I sat down to watch it by myself.  As I was watching, my husband came in to sit beside me and guage my reaction.  At the end I was really quite disturbed.

You may have seen this clip but if you have not, the young man has a reaction over several hours after accidentally ingesting a peanut candy bar hidden in a cake.  His filming over these hours shows him gradually having a skin reaction (hives and flushing), stomach pain and vomiting, facial swelling and difficulty breathing.   I’ve seen this in my own child so, while not easy to watch, it was not surprising to me.  What was surprising was that after indicating he was having difficulty breathing, he went and “passed out” on the couch for several hours.

It would appear from the opening and closing remarks made by this young guy that his reason for posting the reaction on YouTube was to educate others as to what happens when those with food allergies have reactions and why they should be taken seriously.  So why, you ask, would I find this upsetting?  Because I think that the opposite of his educational intention is clearer in the clip.  His accidental message is that he can essentially “ride out” the allergic reaction and that after having systemic reactions, it’s okay for an allergic person to go lie down.

If you read the posted reactions to this clip, you’ll find other people asking the same questions that I did.  From his responses to those questions, it appears that he did have antihistamines and epi-pens available but it isn’t clear exactly what he used and when, if anything,  in the clip.  So the message that clearly comes across is that a wait and see and lie down on the couch approach is a good idea.  Not in my book!  So in the end, I’m very glad my allergic child didn’t see the clip and I don’t want her to except perhaps to point out at which time in the clip that using the epi-pen and calling 911 would have been a good idea.

After the clip, there are several other posted videos on allergies but I couldn’t bring myself to watch any of them.  Not if what I was going to see was potentially the last video that person would make.

As I wrote last week, the birthday party my allergic daughter was invited to was coming up fast.  Given that it was an outdoor party with young teens/tweens, we had to do a quick education process about feeling unwell outside, buddying with a friend, not going to the bathroom or to find an adult alone if not feeling well and to self administer the epi-pen as necessary.

So who was more nervous when we went to the party?  You guessed it, me!  The screaming gaggle of teenagers that were waiting in the driveway for my child to arrive whisked her away as soon as she stepped out of the car.  The  young host of the party extricated her and escorted her inside to his parents and to put down her waterfight gear.  I’d already touched base with the parental units on food, etc.   These parents also have children with food allergies and intolerances to wheat and dairy which we’d discussed in the previous years as our children grew up together.

So why did I feel panicky and feel the tears well up as I drove away?  Despite all of my best efforts to keep fears at bay, there are just times that I think an allergic parent feels the enormity of the hand we’ve been dealt more keenly than others.  I try not to dwell on it too often otherwise we would put our child in a bubble and she’d have no life at all.  My husband and I are cautious to mitigate the risks but sometimes we do have to realize that those risks can’t be completely controlled by anyone, no matter how careful we are.  That’s true for sending our kids out into the world whether they have allergies or not.

I just don’t ever want to feel like I should have done more.

I mentioned in an earlier post that we were finally hitting the time when our allergic  child was scheduled to begin the Foods portion of her grade seven rotation and we had not yet decided whether that was going to be a viable option for our child.

These  new situations as allergic children grow up bring back all of that anxiety of just how much we can trust someone else with the life of our child and, now that she’s 12, the emotional and social aspects of dealing with a life threatening food allergy in school.

Thankfully, we’ve always had great support at school from school administration, staff, and other families and students with very little controversy.  Unfortunately, that doesn’t stop me from having sleepless nights imagining what might happen.  These are anxieties my husband and I try very hard not to pass along to our child but even hiding those often unfounded fears from her can be stressful itself.

Our meeting went very well and included the principal, the home ec teacher and our child.  A great bonus was that the home ec. teacher has a grown up daughter who has severe lactose intolerance which does not respond to lactaid pills so she’s known a lifetime of avoidance of dairy.  Life is always so much easier as an allergic parent when who you’re talking to has walked in your shoes, even slightly.

So we’re going ahead!  A stove will be set aside for my child, I’ll be sending in utensils and baking equipment which will be kept in a sealed bin we provide and washed only by my child and her baking partner.  In addition,  my child’s baking partner has a brother with peanut allergy so this will allow that child to bring home safe class projects to share with her family.  The teacher will be providing me with all of the term’s recipes and I’ve offered to purchase the items we’ve deemed as unsafe due to bulk purchase and/or possible cross-contamination.

I’m thrilled and my child feels comfortable. Whatever extras we may need to do to make this work is nothing compared to the freedom of being (generally) like the other kids.  As Mastercard says, that’s priceless.

Holidays where chocolates play a large part are a nightmare for food allergic parents.  The beautiful Easter displays in stores and supermarkets are a huge disappointment as you start reading all the pretty packages only to come away with either nothing or a pathetically small amount of options.  And if you’re trying to find chocolates for Passover too you’d be pretty lucky to find anything that worked.

When my girls were little, we were lucky enough to be nearby Twin Cove Confections, a Victoria based nut free chocolate company that made delectable truffles and bunnies with homemade toffee bits and marshmallows inside .  Like many small allergy friendly companies, it was a company run by two sisters who had family members with food allergies and was generally sustained by their big hearts, not the money it generated.  Unfortunately, last year one of the founding sisters died of cystic fibrosis and  the decision was made to put the company to rest as well.  For the time that the company was running, there were a lot of us grateful allergy parents who were thrilled to find delicious and beautiful options.

Around the same time, my allergic (and youngest) child found out that that the Easter Bunny was not who she thought he was and the pressure was off to come up with chocolates every year.  Instead, being 12 an 14, my girls are now thrilled to have other more grown up goodies instead:  itunes certificates, pajamas, etc.  So while I miss the days of little ones joyously running around hunting for safe chocolate eggs, I certainly don’t miss my annual hunt for Christmas, Valentines Day,  and Easter treats.  Goodbye Easter Bunny!

Our family  just got back yesterday from Tofino where we took the Manitoba in-laws for their first look at the Pacific Rim National Park, gray whales, sea otters, rain, rain, rain and…snow.  Ah, nothing like spring on the west coast of Canada!

Like many allergy families, we got a kitchenette and dragged all of our own food along so that we wouldn’t have to eat out.  Despite all of the careful attention to detail, I had a bit of anxiety when it came time to bedtime.  While the suite slept 8, 2 of those 8 were on a pullout and we had planned to have our allergic child there so us parents could have a little privacy. 

But, I just couldn’t put her on the pullout when so many people sit and eat on the sofa.  We ate at the sofa while we were there since there wasn’t quite enough room at the table.  While we weren’t eating nuts, how many people had sat there before us?  How many people would come later  that have allergies to wheat from our breadcrumbs?  In the end, I ended up sleeping with said allergic child in a bed while our oldest daughter was alone on the pullout. 

My husband thought I was going a bit overboard but in the end, I managed to sleep (somewhat, given her elbow in my throat), knowing that we were sleeping in the room farthest from the kitchen.