As I wrote last week, the birthday party my allergic daughter was invited to was coming up fast.  Given that it was an outdoor party with young teens/tweens, we had to do a quick education process about feeling unwell outside, buddying with a friend, not going to the bathroom or to find an adult alone if not feeling well and to self administer the epi-pen as necessary.

So who was more nervous when we went to the party?  You guessed it, me!  The screaming gaggle of teenagers that were waiting in the driveway for my child to arrive whisked her away as soon as she stepped out of the car.  The  young host of the party extricated her and escorted her inside to his parents and to put down her waterfight gear.  I’d already touched base with the parental units on food, etc.   These parents also have children with food allergies and intolerances to wheat and dairy which we’d discussed in the previous years as our children grew up together.

So why did I feel panicky and feel the tears well up as I drove away?  Despite all of my best efforts to keep fears at bay, there are just times that I think an allergic parent feels the enormity of the hand we’ve been dealt more keenly than others.  I try not to dwell on it too often otherwise we would put our child in a bubble and she’d have no life at all.  My husband and I are cautious to mitigate the risks but sometimes we do have to realize that those risks can’t be completely controlled by anyone, no matter how careful we are.  That’s true for sending our kids out into the world whether they have allergies or not.

I just don’t ever want to feel like I should have done more.

Just when it seems that you’ve got one thing under control with an allergic child, something else pops up.  My journey started with 2 children allergic to dairy, followed by a peanut reaction, followed by outgrowing the dairy (both girls thankfully) and then discovering kiwi and almond allergies.  Like many parents, I had to educate myself, learn to read labels, educate family and friends,  learn how to use an epi-pen and ask a lot of questions.

Then, when I was just beginning to feel comfortable with the change in our lives, we needed to begin thinking about birthday parties and then the big one:  school.  I had thought that once we conquered school, we’d have a little comfort zone and generally we did with smaller issues coming up such as Valentine’s Day, continued education of teachers and school trips.

Last year, our daughter moved to junior high and that created a new round of anxiety, both on the part of our child and us as parents.  We needed to begin the education process again, explore new options for cleanliness in the school, pin down specific eating areas for our child (since the kids can generally be where they choose) and tackle the issue of cooking in home economics class.  We’re now at the end of that school year this week and everything worked really well so all is good, right?

Yes and no.  While some issues are old hat and our allergic child has a very careful personality, there are so many other issues that are going to need to be dealt with.  In the last month alone,  we’ve had to discuss what to do with the epi-pen belt when you’re wearing a dress at the school dance (and no, leaving it on a table with your friend’s jacket is not okay) to an end of the year birthday party tomorrow night which is a co-ed extravaganza of kick the can, water fights and capture the flag.  Unlike little kid birthday parties, where the parent controls the activities and food, these 12 and 13 year olds are getting to the age where they are doing more policing of themselves. 

Therefore, the bedtime discussion last night was about if you’re not feeling well, telling a friend and bringing them with you to find an adult is necessary.  This includes not going to the bathroom alone if she’s not well.  Otherwise, what happens if she passes out before reaching an adult or can’t speak?  Not exactly the conversation I want to have but  an absolute must.  So she’s picked 3 friends she’s comfortable with who she will have accompany her in the event of a concern. 

Thankfully, she’s not at the age yet (at least I hope I’m not thinking this naively) where any party would have drugs or alcohol but we’ve already had those conversations too.  Whether drinking something that has a potential allergen in it, sharing a glass or cigarette/drug that someone else has inadvertently left an allergen on or even being inebriated and having less care and inhibitions about personal safety have all been part of discussions since she was about 10.  In the next few years, we can hope that the earlier education will have a positive effect but we now must trust her to take care of herself in so many more situations that are not as controlled as we would like.

Anaphylaxis Canada has put out a website specifically for teens called Why Risk It?  There are various sections to the site but they do cover the issues of partying, carrying your epinephrine, drugs, alcohol, peer pressure, dating, kissing and more.  The site also features different situations that allergic teens have found themselves in and how they dealt with them.  At the very least, this website may allow your allergic child to explore aspects of an allergic teen’s life that they may not want to share with you.  I hope for most families, it gives a tool to begin those very important conversations.

It’s been a wild last 10 days as I traveled first across Canada to Ontario for the Canadian Celiac Association (CCA) Conference and then to Seattle this past weekend for the Gluten Intolerance Group’s (GIG) Annual Conference. 

As much as travelling alone can be exhausting and not quite so glamorous as one might imagine (think eating meals alone – yuck!), both conferences had a lot to offer both the conference attendees and the businesses that attended.  I always love having people come up to the booth who we’ve been shipping to for years as it’s  wonderful to put a face to a name.  I also love it when you come up to the booth and proclaim loudly how wonderful Nonuttin’ products are.  You can travel with me any day!

I often learn a lot at these conferences.  Sometimes I have an opportunity to listen to speakers but my most important listening comes from speaking to the people coming up to my booth, tasting products or even telling me why they can’t try Nonuttin’ products.  It helps me learn about what ingredients people are avoiding that we might be able to consider changing or for those who do like our products, what would help them with new flavors, new stores to approach, and other products or ideas to try.

It’s always interesting to find out the regional differences for flavor preferences too.  Apple cinnamon granola bars and Energy Explosion trail mix went over best in Ontario while chocolate chip and chunk granola bars and vanilla cinnamon clusters went over best in Seattle.  Calgary loves their chocolate too and Victoria loves the apple cinnamon and caramel.   I haven’t been able to guess right yet which is always fun when deciding what items to pack for display and/or sale. 

Pure oats were getting more acceptance at the CCA Conference than last year but many were still cautious whereas gluten free oats in Seattle were very popular and pure oats or products made from them were represented in at least 6 different booths compared to only 2 in Ontario.   It’s also great to see all of the other new products that are out there.  Like our company, many companies are starting because the founders themselves or people they love have dietary issues that aren’t being offered solutions by large food companies.

So…

Feet?  Sore

Eyes?  Tired

Meeting great people?  Priceless