We can pick our friends but we can’t pick our families and when you’re dealing with food allergies and intolerances over the holidays, you might just want to hang out with your friends. What is it about food allergies that can cause so many family feuds?

And why is it that all holidays between Halloween and Easter are excessively celebrated with food? From US Thanksgiving on Thursday through to Christmas especially, every get together is frought with minefields that we must safely navigate. These holidays can be the most stressful of all, especially if you gather with family who just don’t understand the severity of your needs. Is it any wonder that some of us just want to hibernate?

I’m the first to say that I’ve been really lucky in that I have great family on both sides who take our family’s food allergies very seriously when we’re visiting. Everybody always goes out of their way to make sure that the food is safe and that we have lots of choice. It’s what has allowed us to sanely navigate our way through many a pot luck family reunion. Even if extended family is not on board, we’ve always been able to enjoy ourselves with what’s available to us from our closest family, away from the main food serving area.

But I’ve heard horror stories ranging from the grandma who leaves the bowl of peanuts out on the coffee table near an allergic toddler to the sister-in-law who gets offended when you can’t eat her wheat laden house specialty. Is it worth it to even go to a family member’s house if they just don’t get it? Will they ever get it? If so, what does it take? If not, is it easier said than done to write them off?

Researchers at National Jewish Health released a study in the Journal of Pediatrics on October 29 that says that many people are mistakenly avoiding foods that they believe their children are allergic to or believe is affecting eczema in their child.

Part of the problem is the difficulty in diagnosing food allergies. It turns out that a combination of patient history (including family history and previous anaphylactic attacks), skin tests, blood immunoassays and food challenges have to be assessed before a truly definitive diagnosis of food allergy can be applied. However, in practice, patients do not always go through these as part of the diagnostic process.

Add to that the fears of the food allergic and their parents, such as my child’s strong aversion to a food challenge, and you get many people who are avoiding foods unneccessarily. Check out the link to the study to see how many study participants were able to add foods back into their diets: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/11/101104171350.htm

I always loved the quote from allergy expert Dr. Scott Sicherer in response to whether moms eating certain foods when pregnant could increase the rate of food allergies in their children, “We’ve also seen a rise in cat allergies and, as far as I know, mothers aren’t eating more cats than they used to.”

Not only did this quote make me laugh out loud when I heard it, it made me feel a whole lot better about my role in my children’s food allergies. Not so fast, it would appear.

Now Dr. Sicherer has released preliminary food allergy data that indicates that what we eat during pregnancy may indeed have an affect on the development of food allergies in our infants. When reading the article, it was like reading 100% of my own experience including milk allergies in both my daughters and quite severe eczema in my youngest.

Read the article here: http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/Health/20101102/baby-peanuts-101102/

During my eldest child’s pregnancy, I ate peanut butter rarely because I found it made me nauseous. She now has no allergies. During my youngest child’s pregnancy, peanut butter was one of the few nutritious foods I could eat that didn’t make me ill and she currently has 4 food allergies and continues to have eczema. Hmm.

Dr. Sicherer does go on to say that more studies are needed to provide advice on what should be eaten during pregnancy. And obviously, for those of us who are finished our childbearing years and already have children with food allergies, the horse has escaped and there’s no closing the barn door so to speak.

Now in my forties and a little further along the food allergy path with my family, I’m not going to jump on the blame train quite as quickly as I might have in the past. Perhaps it’s also because, like any health issue, different studies often show conflicting data and so I don’t take absolutely every study as gospel truth anymore.

Besides, my husband has allergies to shellfish and I have environmental allergies, sulpha allergy, asthma and eczema, so I’m feeling we’ve got some murkiness in there. So I’m pretty content to share the blame with him, my mother’s environmental allergies, my uncle’s shrimp allergy, my grandfather’s…

My husband absolutely loves Halloween and we have more decorations at our house for this event than Christmas and the rest of the holidays combined.  We have flying bats, tombstones, skeletons, giant spiders, special lights, candy bowls, chains, cobwebs, sound effects and more.  We even looked at an enormous skull for the front porch on the weekend (no, it never made it into the cart).  But here’s a secret:  I dread Halloween as the parent of an allergic child.

It starts in August with the Halloween candy down every store aisle.  This has been handy for nabbing the safe treats that my allergic child will keep at school for unexpected events.  But navigating past all of the peanut butter cups and nut filled candy bars is frustrating when they put them anywhere they think they have room.  They even put piles in the produce department! Read more »

In a previous post, I shared our family’s experience with Applebee’s in Minot, North Dakota.  If you haven’t read it, you can go to the blog post at http://www.nonuttin.com/blog/archives/349.

The bottom line is that our server at Applebee’s, Jennifer, essentially ran back and forth between our table, the kitchen, and her manager asking questions, checking with the head chef, checking ingredient labels and truly taking our family’s 6 food allergies seriously.  And she managed to actually serve us with a smile at the same time.

So we tipped her 30% of our bill.  We often tip quite large but this was large, even for us.  Some people might think that service of this sort should be the norm, and even if that’s true, it’s not what we run into on a regular basis.  So to me, tipping far more than the norm is part of my dining out strategy.  While I have no proof that this dining out strategy works, here’s my justification: Read more »

I’m here to tell you a secret;  traveling is not all glamor.  Hard to believe, isn’t it?

I remember when my kids were little and my husband had to travel for work conferences.  I’d be exhausted when he came home and he had the nerve to be exhausted too!  How could that be when he’d had a hotel to go to sleep in, meals provided, banquets to attend, no children to wake him up in the middle of the night, no carting the kids back and forth between childcare plus work?  Now, I’ve discovered why as the shoe is on the other foot.

Because it is my company that I travel for, no one is planning my dinners for me at lovely restaurants when I’m away.   And, like many of you with food allergies and intolerances, I cart my own food with me so that I can eat safely and healthfully and try to book hotels with a microwave and fridge wherever I can.  I’ve been traveling so much in the last 3 months that I haven’t spent more than 10 days at home at a time.  At one point, I looked out of my plane at the city beyond and forgot where I was (Vancouver)!

So you might ask, why do I do it?   Here are the things that keep me going:

The eleven year old boy at the Canadian Celiac Association’s National Conference in Winnipeg who mowed through all of our samples once his mom had determined all of our products were safe for his Celiac disease, peanut allergies, egg allergies and dairy allergies.  What a smile on his face and his mom’s too!

The lady at Choices gluten free fair in White Rock who found out we’re free of sulfites and dairy.  She told me that she was in love with our company. 

The store owner who came up to our booth at the Canadian Health Food Association’s Expo West who said she can’t keep our Energy Explosion trail mix on the shelf, people love it so much.

The lady who’s been a customer for years who introduced herself at the Celiac Disease Foundation’s Annual Conference in Los Angeles in May.  It felt like I was meeting an old friend.

But it’s the same in all that we do isn’t it?  We handle all of the education and anxiety necessary to deal with our family’s food allergies and at times it can be really overwhelming.  We plough on, sometimes just putting our heads down and marching ahead because it’s really all we can do.  But then we get those moments of bright light; that small thing that may not mean much to someone not in our shoes but can mean the world to us.  A new safe product, a medical situation handled well, excitement over finding someone else who really “gets it”.

Small things – they’re really what makes the world go round.

It’s bad enough that we need to convince people in our lives that food allergies besides peanut can create life threatening reactions too.  But what happens when even allergy researchers believe that certain food allergies are not as serious? Read more »

I find Valentine’s Day stressful with food allergies.  In the past, when our allergic child was in elementary school, I found it to be the most stressful day of all.  It all came to a head when Megan was in grade 4 and Valentine’s Day became a food buffet of everything she couldn’t eat laid out in front of her.  Score in her head?  Other kids:  30 treats,  Me:  2 Read more »

Oh boy, you’d think that being deprived of peanuts and nuts for approximately 1-14 hours was akin to snatching a bottle out of a baby’s hands.  Add in food allergies being referred to as a disability and you’ve got people frothing at the mouth. Read more »

On Friday night our daughter had her first food allergic reaction in 9 years.  It was also the first time she self injected and the first time she had a reaction at a friend’s without an adult present.  Her big sister also experienced the first time she was present at a reaction that she remembers.  And it was the first time I was out and received a frantic phone call about a reaction.

All in all, a lot of firsts that I would rather have done without.  While we have learned a lot from the incident including phoning 911 before phoning Mom and that all of the training that we’d done was successful, the fear box has been opened.  You know, the one you stuff all of your allergic parent fears into so that you can lead a somewhat normal life? Read more »